Who was your first major crush? As is customary in fag hag culture, I was an active member of the high school drama club. That's where I met my gay teen crush, Darrell Earnest. No one knew for sure that he was gay because he was definitely not out, but everyone noted the unusual amount of time he spent with his "best friend". He was easily able to weasel out of taking my affection seriously, since I was a freshman and he was a senior. I now know, through the help of Facebook's "Basic Information" feature, that he was a card carrying homo. He currently lives in San Francisco, and he's still pretty dreamy.